A coach helps you become better at doing something; knows what goes into doing something well and also knows how to bring out the best in you. A coach is not someone who does things for you, or someone who tries to motivate you by yelling. Coaching is about helping people find the insights, and develop the habits and practices, they need to do something to the best of their abilities. A coach may help you develop new skills, or tap into skills that you did not recognize before.
Coaching is about helping someone bring their best self to a challenging situation.
When I was growing up, coaches did not pay much attention to me. I was intimidated by them, and avoided them whenever I could. Sports were not my strong suit, and I was not a serious athlete. As I grew older, I grew to appreciate that coaching included more than the people who were so unimpressed with my lack of ability. Coaches in other areas of my life helped bring out the best in me.
Sometimes the first step in bringing out the best in someone is helping them clear away the obstacles that prevent them from seeing what is possible. We tend to hoard things, accumulating perceptions and habits over time, then holding on to them as if it were a matter of life and death. It is ironic that the things we hold onto so tenaciously often hold us back, hold us down, hold us captive. The first step is often about letting go of those things.
Discovering our willingness to let go can release a great deal of energy for us. It is like every makeover or DIY series on television: they begin with demolition. Letting go releases the energy we need to go forward and clears away old ways of doing things that get in the way of growth and learning. In addition, demolition removes the path back to doing things the “way I have always done them.” A coach can help us discern the things that need to be demolished, and help us appreciate the energy that comes from letting them go.
What is holding you back? What could the right coach help you release, so you can move forward?
[Image by Markfive]