Growing Up
Growing up is a very individual, personal process in the culture in which I was raised. There are few formal rites of initiation, and few recognized benefits of growing older.
The culture is oriented toward the future, toward being youthful. People in our culture tend to put off growing up as long as possible.
Growing up is seen as the way in which we take on responsibilities, as the way in which we are drawn into commitments that restrict and limit our options.
I was born and raised in the Midwest, where I was taught the value of growing up. Growing up was what life was all about. It was important to do well in school, to meet your responsibilities, to find the right answers. Life was challenging, challenges built character, and growing up was about doing your best.
Growing up was about following the rules and keeping your word.
I took these lessons to heart and met people’s expectations.
My family taught me the value of education, so I stayed in school and earned two graduate degrees. I worked hard to find the right answers in life, and was proud of my willingness to do whatever it took to accomplish my goals.
It took me time and effort to learn that growing up is about more than being old. I was asleep to myself, prematurely old. It was a painful process to wake myself up and realize what I had missed.
I realized that growing up is more about taking responsibility for yourself than about always meeting your responsibilities.
Being an adult is more about knowing and being true to myself than about the expectations of others. Slowly, but surely, I am growing up.
How are you growing up today?
What are the lessons you are learning?
[Image by rolands.lakis]
6 Comments
Shelley Rubalcava
July 16, 2012I am growing up by waiting to respond to all the good and/or negative situations in my life. Creating that space allows me to appreciate each moment rather than expecting I can offer gratitude.
Strategic Monk
July 16, 2012Thank you, Shelley.
Yes, my expectations alter my perception of what happens in my life, and giving things time and space helps me open myself to appreciation and gratefulness. I often learn more from events that I initially see as “negative.”
Lewis
July 21, 2012I am growing up by accepting my own power and learning that it’s ok if I don’t know the answer because there is always someone I can trust to help me figure it out.
Strategic Monk
July 21, 2012Thank you, Lewis. Yes, it is important to know who you can trust.
As I grow up, I am coming to realize that I have more fun when I do not already know an answer and can enjoy learning about it!
Judy
July 21, 2012It’s funny to hear you say that….My Dad was one of the most influential people in my life, he often said that the moment he stopped learning was the moment he would die – he lived this statement to the max and was always immersing himself in new subjects and loved the process until the day he died…Although I always appreciated this philosophy, I am just now starting to internalize it…I guess he is still teaching me even though he is not here physically
Strategic Monk
July 21, 2012Thank you, Judy.
I agree with your father, and can see that you have been learning from him for a long time. It is remarkable to me how the seeds that people have planted in us sprout and grow, producing new life long after they sow the seeds. Thank you for continuing your father’s example and sharing his inspiration.