Lent Reflection: Recovering Attorney
I am a recovering attorney.
I decided to become a lawyer as a child. My choice was shaped by books I read and the people I saw on television. There were no lawyers in my family, and I had never met a lawyer in person. I did not know what practicing law really meant.
I had a strong belief in justice and fairness, as well as a very strong sense of responsibility. I knew that attorneys were powerful and could get things done. I loved reading, and was good with words. I was focused and persistent, and eager to make a difference.
After I finished law school, I became a criminal prosecutor. I learned how to present a case persuasively to a jury, and how to cross-examine witnesses. Eventually I did more legislative advocacy than trial advocacy. I learned how to make good arguments well, and I could get things done.
The steps in my practice led me to question what I was doing. Each change that I made drew me, eventually, to conclude that there must be something more. I was still focused and persistent, and eager to make a meaningful difference.
I realized that, no matter what I did as an attorney, no matter how well I practiced law, there were limits to what I could accomplish. The legal system reacted to events, it could not act preemptively. I was working to change a system, not influencing the choices of individual people.
Now my work focuses on helping people take the risks that will help them make a difference. My understanding of justice and fairness is deeper now.
I am recovering. I can still be persuasive, and still enjoy asking good questions.
What are you recovering from in your life?
What changes are you being drawn to make?
[Image by Michigan Municipal League (MML)]
4 Comments
Maureen Devlin
March 17, 2013Your shared reflections are powerful. Thank you. It’s interesting that you ask this question as in my life I find myself drawn to a recurring image–a place that is very simple and strategically placed, and a schedule that is gentle and kind. It is a spiritually rich place where love abounds and relationships are deep. I find that my progress towards this dream includes a series of deletions: deleting events that are meaningless, giving away objects of little personal worth and deleting efforts that do not lead me in that direction. Thanks for prompting my thoughts and reflection in this regard.
Strategic Monk
March 17, 2013Thank you, Maureen.
I share your story. A significant aspect of my own spiritual journey is finding the rich balance between exploring and letting go.
I am drawn to challenges that help me see things in new ways and test my abilities and, more and more, to the silence that calls me to let go of what I do not need.
Judith
March 17, 2013After years of dealing with domestic violence, having to figure out ahead what I needed to do to keep my daughter and myself safe when things happened, I have been unable to live in the moment. I got help and received therapy for the PTSD, but kept hitting road blocks in my treatment because of this. Recently when I stepped up the amount of walking I’ve been doing, I notice that during those extra miles I was finally able to focus on the present more…..at first it was only for a few moments, but now it’s for a longer period of time. It’s been a real blessing.
Strategic Monk
March 17, 2013Thank you, Judith.
I appreciate your strength, courage, and honesty. My heart reaches out to you, and I hope your burden is easier to bear because it is shared.
Walking is very helpful for me, partly because it gives me something to do physically that does not distract me intellectually or emotionally. It is the right amount of exercise while not demanding too much of my attention. When I want to let go of the past or the future and listen to myself or someone else, taking a walk is a great way to begin.
I look forward to walking with you and listening to the breeze in the branches.