Reflection is the key that opens the door of other people skills.
What is Reflection?
Reflection is a way of thinking which is different from the way I usually think.
Thinking rationally and analytically tends to be focused on solving problems or reaching conclusions and decisions. Rational, analytical thinking feels more linear, as if our minds are moving from point to point toward a goal. Reflection is different.
Reflection is a way of thinking about things that is more interested in allowing the connections between them to become clear. It tends to feel less intentional, and sometimes less clear, than analyzing. Many people describe it as beginning to learn to let go of things, though as a way of processing things it allows us to incorporate many more factors into our considerations. Reflection tends to be less about controlling information than about allowing things to fall into place.
Mirrors and lenses allow us to see ourselves because they reflect light. They do not give us a completely accurate view of things, but they do allow us to see things that we otherwise could not see. Reflection shows us things turned around or backwards, which gives us a new perspective and enables us to see things in new ways.
When I spend time reflecting I am giving things an opportunity to bounce around a little and show themselves to me in new ways. It is not that reflection is aimless, it is more that it is open to the possibilities.
Reflection is not about analysis and conclusions. Reflection opens us to intuition and insight.
How do I practice Reflection?
It is not unusual for people who have not spent much time in reflection to think that they are doing something wrong, or to feel uneasy or even guilty. It is also easy for them to feel that reflection is a distraction from productive thinking.
Reflection is not focused on emptying your mind or achieving a peaceful state. It is not about doing something, or doing something better. Reflection is a way of thinking that makes room for the thoughts, imagination, feelings, and ideas that we often push away because they are not relevant to our analysis. We may be reflecting about something, but with a less rigid agenda that we typically have.
There is not a set of tangible steps to follow in learning or practicing reflection. There are no rules.
Some people find reflection boring, and some people have trouble staying awake. The tendency to fall asleep or take a nap while you are reflecting is an indication that 1) you are relaxing, which is a positive step, and 2) you are tired and need rest, which is often a result of spending a great deal of time and energy struggling to analyze and understand. You may find that reflection is a gentler, more comfortable way of thinking. A nap or other rest may be an excellent way to begin.
Many people find it helpful or beneficial to listen to music, take a walk, draw, or spend time with their pet as they reflect. If you do, it can be important to rely on supports that do not engage your full attention. It might be best to listen to an instrumental piece that you do not find intriguing or too intellectually stimulating. You may find ambling in familiar territory more conducive to reflection than a challenging hike.
For many, the challenge is to relax and find enough distraction to give yourself room to reflect without drawing your focus to something else.
Some people want to be able to draw or take general notes about the ideas they develop in their reflection time.
Join us on the #PeopleSkills chat on Sunday morning, January 12 to hear more about reflection.
[Image by Tom Godber]
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