Asking Good Questions

People tell me I ask good questions. It is not really a surprise. I have been asking questions for as long as I can remember.

As a child I asked questions because I believed the people around me knew the answers. Life for me was built on finding answers. The only way I knew to find answers was to ask questions. People may have been a little intimidated.

My questions turned into cross-examination even before I “turned pro” and became an attorney. My questions developed lives of their own, pushing people to give responses that fit into the stories I told.

Now I ask more open-ended questions. They help people appreciate and tell their own stories, not the stories I want them to tell.

How Questions Work

Part of asking good questions is understanding how we want them to work. Some questions are hammers, driving nails to build a particular way of seeing. Some questions are tools with more than one purpose.

Asking good questions is a matter of using our tools well.

Preparation and Listening

Good questions result from a combination of preparation and listening.

When I questioned a witness in court, I prepared my questions in advance. I understood what I was going to ask when, and why. My preparation allowed me to listen carefully and ask questions beyond my list as they arose.

Turning the Key

Asking a question may unlock a door that has been locked for some time. Questions can take on lives of their own. They may allow people to open doors and windows they did not know were held tightly closed.

Sensitive, insightful questions help people shine lights into dark, hidden areas.

What is the best question you have asked today?

Who asks you questions that open locked rooms?

[Image by Martin Pettitt]